So I am beginning to feel like I am falling back into a bit of a slump again, but I can't allow this to happen. I want so badly to just have a fresh start. I don't even know what that means, but I just have this really strong desire to start with a clean plate, a blank canvas. So I decided tomorrow is going to be my blank canvas. I can do whatever I want with my life starting tomorrow. If I want it to happen, I can make it happen because this is my life and I am in control. If I want to paint my world with bright shades of purples and oranges, I will.
I cleaned my room, I did my laundry, I shaved, I organized all my stuff, I moisturized my skin and my hair, I cleaned out my e-mails. I am ready for this. Everything is in order for me to do whatever I want. I just feel like I have all of this desire and passion and energy in me, and I want to let it out. My passion used to be channeled into loving Fernando, but we no longer have that, which means I need to find new outlets. Everyday day; no, every second is a new second with which I can do whatever I want. Every second is my blank canvas. I want to get thin, I want to make art and music, I want to fall in love with things other than boys, I want to be filled with incredible burning joy and I want to share that feeling with everyone I meet once I find it. This is my Adventure to find Happiness.