Friday, January 20, 2012

Yesterday I realized something so incredibly important. It just came to me, and it clicked. I might even go as far as to say I had a life changing revelation. I realized that every time I was upset or stressed or not feeling happy, I would go to Fernando to make me feel better and it would never work so I would get frustrated with him. And then yesterday it just hit me - its not Fernando who is supposed to make me happy (which is why it never worked out); I need to learn how to make myself happy. If I am having a rough day, I can't go to someone else with my problems and expect them to suddenly make things better; I need to figure out on my own how I can make things better. Only Jessica can make Jessica truly happy - Fernando can't do that, and neither can anyone else. Gosh, it was such a good feeling to finally see things clearly. And I have to say, I have been feeling pretty good. Obviously its a day by day thing and perhaps today or tomorrow won't be that good, but I am learning how to equip myself with the proper tools to make those rough days better.

On another note, I have been running consistently, and I looove it!
(when I took ^that picture I though it was incredibly clever, but I realized I am not that fond of it)
Running is seriously the ultimate cure to everything. My day is immediately better after a run. Everytime I run, I think of all the reasons why I run, and my reasoning is never ever "as a work out". Instead I always have these really intense reasons like "I run to survive" or "I run so that I don't feel anxious". Its really incredible! 
(I also hate this picture, but Faline looks so funny!)
Things at school have been pretty lovely too. I am making more of an effort to be social and make plans, and I am really happy with the way this semester is turning out so far! (*knock on wood*)
Alsoooo, I registered for the Rutger's half todaay! I am so incredibly excited/nervous. This means I actually have to go through with this. I also want to register for a few other races, like a TRIATHALON! I am going swimming with Max on sunday, so if it goes well, I am going to register! (:

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