So I decided to clean the bullshit out of my life (this is a work in progress obviously, being that I litterally decided it 5 minutes ago after watching Hes Just Not That Into You). I deleted my tumblr (why do I need to waste hours online looking at pretty things when I could be creating pretty things or reading pretty things or eating pretty things or doing pretty things, and also, why should I have to maintain two blogs? Its a bit much!) and then I texted Fernando asking if he really wanted to be friends, because I hate thinking that I can depend on him when I really cant. It feels good to make these small but important moves. Tomorrow I am going to call a bunch of schools and ask about my options for transferring being that its already April. I have an appointment on Wednesday to fix my haircut that I am not happy with. See, thats the thing. When there are things in our lives that we are unhappy with, we have the power to change them; we just choose not to! Its so obsurd. And then we sit around and complain, "I hate that I spend so much time on tumblr" or "gosh, this haircut really looks awful" or "I hate that Fernando is such a shitty friend", but what we (or at least I) fail to neglect is that all of these things are things that we (or I) have control of. The weather, I don't have control of. But I have control of how I spend my time and who I chose to hold close to my heart. And so I am deciding to use that control to my advantage.
Also, on another note, I decided to give myself three challenges for the month of April:
1) Take a picture every day
2) No sweets (but this one is tricky! I ate pancakes today, and I felt like I was cheating by putting syrup on my pancakes, so in this scenario, sweets are defined as dessert; candy, cake, pie etc)
3) Run every day this month (this one might be tough because I have not run today and its already 7 pm. Hopefully the rain stops, or maybe I will change this one to just work out every day
So yeah, another thing I want to try and do is disconnect a little bit more. Like less time on the computer, less time texting etc. Maybe I'll delete peoples numbers from my phone and keep them in a phone book like that I can't simply text people when I am bored. I don't know yet. But I have been feeling kinda crappy the past few days, and I am feeling pretty good about all of this, so I am excited. I think my problem is whenever I try to relax, I always feel guilty because there are other things I need to do. I need to allot myself a few hours a week to have guilt free time to do whatever the heck I want. Maybe less tumblr time will make that possible?
And one last thing, I think I am ready to start talking to other boys. I mean, there are still a few things I need to work on (like my hair! ha ha), but as a whole I think it'd be fun to talk to boys and flirt and remember why boys are so lovely. So yeah, we'll see what happens with that.