Sunday, November 30, 2014

Stream of consciousness blabbering

Reading biographies of people is not something that I do often, but whenever I do I am reminded of how short my life has been so far. I was just reading about Shel Silverstein (because he's the bomb) and I learned that although he started writing when he was just 12, he did a lot of random stuff before he was published. He was in the Korean War, he drew cartoons for Playboy and Sports Illustrated and had the Giving Tree rejected for publication on his first try. Once his career kicked off as a children's author, he also worked on over a dozen albums of music! And he died when he was only 69. I know these are all random fun facts, but the point is that I am only 21. I often get so caught up thinking about what I have done with my life, and all the things I have yet to do. And a lot of times I get overwhelmed by feeling like I haven't done enough and thinking of all the growing and life events that should have happened to me by now. All of the interests I should have established. All of the hobbies I should be really good at. All the music I should have heard and books I should have read and events in history I should know about. But I have a whole life ahead of me. I know I have a lot of shit to work on, and that thats kind of exciting.

I was thinking about it on the train the other day; theres this girl in the nursing program who basically is the person I strive to be. She is really good at the piano, she works out regularly, shes super into reading and writing but also has a really steady social life and a boyfriend, she has a good sense of humor and is ridiculously articulate and informed on politics and world events. And yeah, while it would be great to be there already, I am not. And thats so cool. I have things to look forward to! I am looking forward to learning how to play the piano and getting excited about all the little songs I learn before I get good. If I was already there, I wouldn't have that. I get to look forward to finding myself and creating myself and growing and growing and growing and reading and writing and running and learning and growing. I am not there yet. Thats awesome. Who the heck wasntsss to be there yet?! I am a freaking mess, and it can only get better from here.

Reading a biography for Leo Tolstoy I learned that he had to transfer colleges because the one he was in was too hard, he got kicked out of his second college because he partied too much, and failed as a farmer before picking up journaling which influenced his work as a writer. His career and all that he is known for didn't pick up until waaayyy later in life, and he failed a lot before he got there. Which I think is really badass. He also has a really badass beard. Just saying. (Shel Silverstein also has a rather incredible beard. I obviously just really like men with beards!)

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