Misc.

I seriously don't take pictures anymore which is so lame! I never have anything to post. Hm. So I just decided this right now, and I like the idea. Every day in the month of April (the month of my birth!) I will take one photo! Yes, I like that idea a lot. Anyways, nothing really exciting has been happening. That is actually a lie. Things have been changing. For a while, after Fernando and I broke up, I felt like I was really beginning to find myself. Now I feel like I am beginning to lose myself again, and I guess I am okay with that. It just means that I am waiting to turn into the person I really want to be and am really proud of. A lot of things are changing for me right about how; I am going to cut my hair really short, I am thinking of cutting meat out of my diet (I don't want to say I am thinking of becoming a vegetarian because gah, that would mean labeling myself), I am trying to learn to swim to train for a triathlon, I am really trying to focus on my school work and stay motivated in hopes of getting into the Rutgers nursing program. And yeah, thats just a taste of it!

Weird to be posting a picture of Fernando on my blog right now, but its one of the only pictures I have from my birthday last year. Anyways, my birthday THIS YEAR is coming up, and its kinda exciting cause I feel like I have changed quite a bit from the person that I was last year. I feel like I am a lot more independent, a lot more motivated, probably more social and outgoing. I have more knowledge (its arguable about whether or not thats a good thing). I can't explain it, but I am pretty proud of the person that I am right now. Obviously I have my flaws; eating too much crap (which I am working on; as always), sometimes saying mean things, procrastinating etc. But my flaws are just more ways that I can improve myself and become a better person, and I am excited for the challenge! 

Things that I need to Start Doing Again:

1. Running regularly; none of this crap where I say I am gonna run and then don't actually do it

2. Meditating

3. Paying really particular attention to what I put in my body, all the time, not just when I am eating alone

4. Reading for fun!

5. Playing the piano

Productivity

Here is a list of all the things I am going to get done today. Looking at lists like this makes me really happy, and makes me feel pretty freaking good about myself. 

1. Study chapters 5 & 6 of Chemistry

2. Do the homework for chapters 5 & 6 of Chemistry

3. Run 6 miles

(^these things will be done before 6pm) Edit: NOT HAPPENING! But they're still gonna get done!

4. Finish my Lit Review for Research in the disciplines 

5. Perhaps if I can handel a bit more Chem, review Chapters 1 & 2

Yay! I love being productive. And I am sorta dreading my 6 mile run today, but I know as soon as I step out of my house, I am going to feel so good about it. So yeah, thats whats gonna happen (:

Little Things Part I

There are some little things about this rainy Wednesday that are making me incredibly happy:

1. I am wearing a denim shirt and my hair is braided

2. I can drink Early Grey Tea and listen to Fleet Foxes

3. Fleet Foxes has an incredible station on Last FM

4. I exceeded my $7.50 meal swipe by 50 cents and my cashier let it go.

5. Its February and I am eating pineapple

6. I am sitting on a big comfy chair in a room with a fireplace

7. I have incredibly beautiful and supportive people in my life.

Life feels pretty okay right now. And learning about Buddhism has taught me that this feeling of contentment is not permanent, which I am okay with. I am just happy and grateful to be feeling this way right now.

The small things

The weather the past two days has been so freaking lovely! Yesterday I sat outside and ate lunch and just people watched. It was great. It was so nice to be outside for a while; recently I feel like all the time I spend outside is just from walking to class to class. Back when I lived at home, my friends and I would go for walks all the time, plus Maria and I had a 20 minute walk to and from school. I definitely want to try and incorporate more walking into my life. Its such an easy and leisurely way to burn more calories, plus I could really used the serotonin!

Another thing that has been going on in my life; recently I have been feeling like I have no sense of style. I mean sure, I don't dress poorly, but there is nothing particularly lovely about the way that I dress. I am almost always wearing skinny jeans, some sort of basic top and a cute pair of shoes. I don't look baddd, but I want to develop really great style. I just don't know where to begin! Here are some styles I have saved on my computer that I am particularly fond of

1. http://www.selectivepotential.com/

2. I have no idea where I found this picture!

3. http://nicoleloher.tumblr.com/

There are so many others that I love, I just can't find them right now! So this weekend I plan on doing some damage at the mall. But another thing that I have been hating is my hair. I need to learn how to style these lovely locks. That however, I will save for another post! 

All work and no play

Gah, I just have so much school work to do, and I have been working on it non-stop since yesterday. I am just so tired of it; I need a break! At the same time though, I just want to finish all of it rather than making this take long than it has to. I really just want to hang out with my friends and laaaughhh. Laughter is the medicine I need right now. And maybe some more sleep! Amanda is sick with a really bad cough, so basically now my sleep schedule is dependent on her; when she falls asleep then I can finally sleep, but as soon as she wakes up and starts coughing again, I am up with her. Its so incredibly lame ):

And yeah, other than that I guess everything is okay. I really miss Fernando still, and I am sooo bored of doing homework so I texted him not expecting him to write back, but he wrote back saying that he can talk in 10 minutes! Gah, I don't even know what I wanna talk about anymore. Well I do; I really wanna ask him whether he was genuine when he said he wanted to be friends with me and I also want to ask him if we are still in that whole "we'll see where things go" phase, or if we are moving past that to just moving on completely. Did we just say that to make the breakup less really and less painful? Okay, so I guess I know exactly what I want to talk to him about but this is going to be such a scary and possibly painful conversation that is going to include me doing a ton of ranting.

Gah, it was just weird because I was doing my chemistry homework and one of the elements was NaNO and Fernando's nickname is Nano and then a little while later the theme song for the Office came on which is one of Fernando's favorite shows. Weird stufffff.

Bony Bear

Whole mother effing shit! This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen; I have never been so moved by music before. I love this man.