Realization

*April 15th is still on my camera*

April 16th- Was a little cranky part of today, but I went for a run for the first time in 3 weeks which was lovely. I feel like my smile is always so much brighter when I come back from a run.

So as I wrote in the caption for that picture, I have not run in 3 weeks, and today I was feeling so slugish and crappy. All I really wanted to do was go back to my room and sleep, but I convinced myself that going for a run, sweating out some of the toxins in my body and getting a nice dose of endorphins would help. I am still incredibly tired, but my run was lovely and I feel so good that I went! I am hoping that this along with my half marathon will help me get back into the swing of things. 

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On a somewhat related note, these are just some thoughts I have been having:

So recently I have been feeling a little lonely; just in general. Lonely about not having a boy to call my own and lonely because of some weird friend situations. And at the same time that this has been happening, Alex has been pledging, which means that Amanda has had a lot of free time. Her and I have gotten a lot closer, and I have really grown to like her. She really is a good friend and I feel like I have been able to open up to her more than anyone else here (which is weird, because for so long I fought having a relationship with her). Anyways, on Saturday, Alex "crossed", which means that he is free again, and him and Amanda are back to their usual routine. At first this made me kinda sad and jealous (because they seriously are so happy together). Well, I suppose I am still a little sad and jealous, but I have flipped these feelings around to make them positive. I know for a fact that part of the reason both Amanda and Alex are so happy is because they both take such good care of themselves; eating right and excercising a lot. Since those things make them naturally happy people, add the fact that they are doing those things together and you get a naturally happy couple. And thats something I really admire. I also really admire how rediculously kind Amanda is to Alex; she is seriously the sweetest girlfriend ever. I only hope that I can be that nice to the next boy I date. But its sort of giving my something to strive for; its inspiring. I see the way they take care of themselves and how that is reflected in their positive energy, and I see the way they treat each other ; both of which inspire me to hopefully one day find that sense of sort if being at peace.